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Last week Chris and I went to see the movie "Dance Flick." The movie itself was awful, but I managed to see the trailer for the movie "Precious: Based on the novel Push by Sapphire" while we were there.
I had read quite a bit of news about the movie and how many awards it had won at Sundance.I read Mo'Nique's interview in Essence magazine, and how she dug into her own memories of incest via her brother to play the character. So my curiosity was sparked. I mean, with Mo'Nique playing serious role and with Oprah was backing the project, it had to be something. So I picked up the book at Barnes & Noble, sat down and began to read.
I couldn't put it down, and by the end of the book, I had a knot in my stomach.
Here's the synopsis: Clarieece "Precious" Jones is a black 16 year old in Harlem, circa 1987. She is totally illiterate, unable to read or write. She's constantly harassed by people on the street because she is dark skinned, tall and obese. She has a daughter with Down's Syndrome who lives with her grandmother, whom she never sees, and is pregnant with her second child. Both of her children are the result of the ongoing sexual abuse by her father, who disappears after he discovers Precious's pregnancy. She lives in a rundown apartment with her mother, who constantly beats her, degrades her, and subjects her to sexual abuse as well. Eventually, the principal of Precious's school offers her a spot in an alternative academic program so she can earn her GED, but since the minimum requirement is the ability to read at an 8th grade level, she enters a Pre-GED program. She meets her teacher Miss Rain, a tough but kind woman, and an array of students with stories just as tragic as Precious's. She slowly learns to read and write. Miss Rain encourages her to keep a journal of her thoughts. Eventually, Precious gives birth to her son, moves out of her mother's apartment and into the program's housing, but as she ages out of the system, she is met with more obstacles, including one huge one left behind by her abusive father. The book ends on not really a happy, but a hopeful note, which I won't reveal in case you want to pick up the book and read it yourself. This book is incredibly emotional, so be prepared for some tears, and if you don't cry, you'll want to, but shock may keep you from doing so. I know that's what happened to me.
Now, I've lead a pretty idyllic life. We were far from rich, but we had a house full of love. My parents did everything they could to make sure that we were happy, healthy and well taken care of, and if they ever worried about the light bill or how groceries were going to get in the fridge, we never knew about it. So the concept of abuse of any kind by parents is just...unfathomable to me. The book goes into the constant terror Precious experiences in blunt and graphic detail, to the point where I had to put the book down and take a breath. I mean, I know it happens, but God...how could any parent do those kinds of things to their child? Say those things? Just...systematically destroy them like that, to the point where they see themselves as too stupid and worthless to die? It sickened me. And I have to say this...I couldn't understand how a mother could sexual abuse her daughter, but now I know how *shudder* That was another thing. Precious's mother. I have never, ever seen a more despicable character. In a lot of these types of stories, you usually find out that the reason why were what they were is because they were subjected to it(not that it excuses it, but now you know why they are all fucked up). But in this case, if the mother has a story, it's never revealed. You just see this fat, angry, smelly, evil woman who beats her daughter down in every way possible, and blames her for her problems and why her husband left her(she actually SAYS something along the lines of "It's not my fault why he did those things to Precious! I wanted my man to do ME, not her!"). And Precious is, I imagine, like anyone who is subjected to systematic abuse, wants to fight back and has thoughts of fighting back, but she can't bring herself to do it. The abuser establishes their position, and the victim is too scared to question it.
That brings me to another question, and it's something that has always bugged the shit outta me. How does a case like this slip through the cracks?! What Precious is going through is no secret. From the nurses who delivered her first baby and saw the bruises on her face(her mother beats her for not telling her she was pregnant), to teachers, to neighbors, etc.. How do you look at these people, fighting for their lives on a daily basis, and NOT step in? NOT call the cops? NOT grab them by the hair and pull them out of that horrible situation? There's only so long you can hide the abuse, and eventually those cracks start to show. How can you not help them? That's another insane thing to me. The book also touches upon how "the system" fails poor minorities. How does a girl go through THAT much school without learning how to read and NOBODY notices? Because people at the bottom of the economic chain are seen as nobodys. Precious herself says something along the lines of, "Just because I'm black and fat and ugly and pregnant, no one sees me. But I want to shout at all of those pink faces(referring to White people), in those business suits and fancy clothes on the bus, and tell them I AM SOMEBODY. I MEAN SOMETHING. But they just see me as a grease stain, something to be wiped away and thrown in the trash, no longer a burden to society." And it's true. I saw it all the time with the stories my mother used to share with me when she worked in Special Ed. Christina shares these stories with me with the kids in her class. These kids coming from broken homes who they think they don't want to learn, but the truth is that they can't, and they have no one else helping them on the outside. I could go on and on about my feelings about it, but I think I might smash my computer into the ground
The phonetics in the book are all messed up, words are all misspelled, as if written by Precious herself, and it's kind of hard to follow at first. But once you get into a groove, you can get around it. And it gradually improves as the book goes on and Precious learns to read. It also waves in and out of flashbacks, when Precious blacks out and recalls her most traumatizing moments. Those are hard to read. Little victories for Precious, like being able to recite the alphabet or learning how to spell her name, seem minute to us, but you find yourself cheering for her. The program becomes her motivation, and she sees it as her ticket to something better, out of the pain, for a better life. Although she cries for herself, she doesn't wallow in self-pity. And you hope the best for her. The book ends with a question mark, but a somewhat positive question mark. You wish for a sequel, to see if she's doing okay.
With all of this said, I don't know if I can bring myself to see the movie. I mean, you read a book and form your own pictures in your head, but to see them vividly portrayed on the screen...I don't know if I can handle it. But I want to support it. The sad thing is that there are a lot of Precious stories, and they are ignored constantly. I want to be part of something that brings them to light, even if it just means seeing the movie and talking about it to whoever will listen. Maybe that will be one tiny way to help a Precious out there somewhere. Hopefully.
I had read quite a bit of news about the movie and how many awards it had won at Sundance.I read Mo'Nique's interview in Essence magazine, and how she dug into her own memories of incest via her brother to play the character. So my curiosity was sparked. I mean, with Mo'Nique playing serious role and with Oprah was backing the project, it had to be something. So I picked up the book at Barnes & Noble, sat down and began to read.
I couldn't put it down, and by the end of the book, I had a knot in my stomach.
Here's the synopsis: Clarieece "Precious" Jones is a black 16 year old in Harlem, circa 1987. She is totally illiterate, unable to read or write. She's constantly harassed by people on the street because she is dark skinned, tall and obese. She has a daughter with Down's Syndrome who lives with her grandmother, whom she never sees, and is pregnant with her second child. Both of her children are the result of the ongoing sexual abuse by her father, who disappears after he discovers Precious's pregnancy. She lives in a rundown apartment with her mother, who constantly beats her, degrades her, and subjects her to sexual abuse as well. Eventually, the principal of Precious's school offers her a spot in an alternative academic program so she can earn her GED, but since the minimum requirement is the ability to read at an 8th grade level, she enters a Pre-GED program. She meets her teacher Miss Rain, a tough but kind woman, and an array of students with stories just as tragic as Precious's. She slowly learns to read and write. Miss Rain encourages her to keep a journal of her thoughts. Eventually, Precious gives birth to her son, moves out of her mother's apartment and into the program's housing, but as she ages out of the system, she is met with more obstacles, including one huge one left behind by her abusive father. The book ends on not really a happy, but a hopeful note, which I won't reveal in case you want to pick up the book and read it yourself. This book is incredibly emotional, so be prepared for some tears, and if you don't cry, you'll want to, but shock may keep you from doing so. I know that's what happened to me.
Now, I've lead a pretty idyllic life. We were far from rich, but we had a house full of love. My parents did everything they could to make sure that we were happy, healthy and well taken care of, and if they ever worried about the light bill or how groceries were going to get in the fridge, we never knew about it. So the concept of abuse of any kind by parents is just...unfathomable to me. The book goes into the constant terror Precious experiences in blunt and graphic detail, to the point where I had to put the book down and take a breath. I mean, I know it happens, but God...how could any parent do those kinds of things to their child? Say those things? Just...systematically destroy them like that, to the point where they see themselves as too stupid and worthless to die? It sickened me. And I have to say this...I couldn't understand how a mother could sexual abuse her daughter, but now I know how *shudder* That was another thing. Precious's mother. I have never, ever seen a more despicable character. In a lot of these types of stories, you usually find out that the reason why were what they were is because they were subjected to it(not that it excuses it, but now you know why they are all fucked up). But in this case, if the mother has a story, it's never revealed. You just see this fat, angry, smelly, evil woman who beats her daughter down in every way possible, and blames her for her problems and why her husband left her(she actually SAYS something along the lines of "It's not my fault why he did those things to Precious! I wanted my man to do ME, not her!"). And Precious is, I imagine, like anyone who is subjected to systematic abuse, wants to fight back and has thoughts of fighting back, but she can't bring herself to do it. The abuser establishes their position, and the victim is too scared to question it.
That brings me to another question, and it's something that has always bugged the shit outta me. How does a case like this slip through the cracks?! What Precious is going through is no secret. From the nurses who delivered her first baby and saw the bruises on her face(her mother beats her for not telling her she was pregnant), to teachers, to neighbors, etc.. How do you look at these people, fighting for their lives on a daily basis, and NOT step in? NOT call the cops? NOT grab them by the hair and pull them out of that horrible situation? There's only so long you can hide the abuse, and eventually those cracks start to show. How can you not help them? That's another insane thing to me. The book also touches upon how "the system" fails poor minorities. How does a girl go through THAT much school without learning how to read and NOBODY notices? Because people at the bottom of the economic chain are seen as nobodys. Precious herself says something along the lines of, "Just because I'm black and fat and ugly and pregnant, no one sees me. But I want to shout at all of those pink faces(referring to White people), in those business suits and fancy clothes on the bus, and tell them I AM SOMEBODY. I MEAN SOMETHING. But they just see me as a grease stain, something to be wiped away and thrown in the trash, no longer a burden to society." And it's true. I saw it all the time with the stories my mother used to share with me when she worked in Special Ed. Christina shares these stories with me with the kids in her class. These kids coming from broken homes who they think they don't want to learn, but the truth is that they can't, and they have no one else helping them on the outside. I could go on and on about my feelings about it, but I think I might smash my computer into the ground
The phonetics in the book are all messed up, words are all misspelled, as if written by Precious herself, and it's kind of hard to follow at first. But once you get into a groove, you can get around it. And it gradually improves as the book goes on and Precious learns to read. It also waves in and out of flashbacks, when Precious blacks out and recalls her most traumatizing moments. Those are hard to read. Little victories for Precious, like being able to recite the alphabet or learning how to spell her name, seem minute to us, but you find yourself cheering for her. The program becomes her motivation, and she sees it as her ticket to something better, out of the pain, for a better life. Although she cries for herself, she doesn't wallow in self-pity. And you hope the best for her. The book ends with a question mark, but a somewhat positive question mark. You wish for a sequel, to see if she's doing okay.
With all of this said, I don't know if I can bring myself to see the movie. I mean, you read a book and form your own pictures in your head, but to see them vividly portrayed on the screen...I don't know if I can handle it. But I want to support it. The sad thing is that there are a lot of Precious stories, and they are ignored constantly. I want to be part of something that brings them to light, even if it just means seeing the movie and talking about it to whoever will listen. Maybe that will be one tiny way to help a Precious out there somewhere. Hopefully.
apathetic
creative
thoughtful
geeky
sleepy
amused
calm
blank
giggly
cold
confident
nervous
touched